1. Name Tag
This is an all too overlooked 90’s classic that involves simply going to an office supply store and getting a sticker name tag that says either, “Hello! My Name is:” or “Hi! My Name is:”- just like those found at support groups and other friendly gatherings of strangers for organizations. Once you have your name tag, dress however you want and write anything on the tag that isn’t your name. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Willow’s boyfriend Oz, famously wrote “God” on his name tag as a Halloween costume, much to the chagrin of other characters who wore knight armor or James Bond suits. You may even give a nod to the famous rapper Eminem by wearing a “Hi! My name is: Slim Shady!” name tag. Put whatever you want on one of these bad boys. Topical name tag ideas could be: Karen, Chad, Stacy, Becky etc.
2. BBQ Becky, Permit Patty, I.D. Adam or Pool Patrol Paula
It seems like youtube is littered with videos of random people angrily calling the cops for no apparent reason. You can poke fun of these people by making them your Halloween costume. First, put on your most casual, comfortable party attire. Maybe bring some sunglasses that you can wear on your head. Most importantly, make sure you have your cell phone at the ready at all times for anytime you need to pretend to call the cops. This hack is easy in the preparation, but your improv acting ability is the key. Whenever someone asks you what your costume is or has the audacity to say that you aren’t wearing a costume, just put your cell phone to your ear as soon as possible, do not actually turn it on of course, and say something like, “Hello?! 911?! There is someone here asking me what my costume is!” Make sure to add some vocal fry and some obvious shaking to really sell the costume.
3. The Living Meme
First, take some construction paper and markers or colored pencils. Next, separate the paper like a pie out of triangle like shapes in order to draw attention to the center of the paper. You can even cut colored paper into triangles then paste them to the board you use to hold them all together. None of the triangles have to be uniform in size. In fact, the more distractingly unorganized, the better. You can then stuff this down the back of your shirt for maximum laziness, or you can glue, tape a stick to the back of it and hold that stick to the back of yourself, using the back of your belt. That way, the colorful display you’ve made is behind you like a halo but with a far more nefarious purpose. For bonus points, actually cut some white paper out into text to paste onto your multicolor halo. You can use any random phrase on it, or maybe use the text from your favorite meme. You’re a meme now, dawg! Your parents should be proud.
This one literally takes a few seconds to put together. Write “book” on your face. But for the sake of safety, make sure you get something that is easy to wash off, like eyeliner from a dollar store. Do not use a permanent marker, like a sharpie.
5. Ask a Ninja
If you haven’t ever watched an “Ask A Ninja” video, check out the famous youtube channel here. If you want to be super cool and stealthy-looking, but are short on time for a party. Fear not, you can be a ninja. What you do is take a t-shirt and put the shirt on, but only so the collar of the shirt rests on your nose. Do not pull your arms through and do not pull your head all the way though. Your mouth and nostrils should be covered by the shirt at this point. Grab the back of the shirt and flop it over your head so that it rests just above your eyebrows. Take the t-shirt arms and pull them behind your head so that you can tie up the arms in order to adjust the t-shirt fabric securely to your face. Folding the areas of the t-shirt around your head and nose will make it seem less like a t-shirt and more like an actual ninja mask. Need a video tutorial? Check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W_xveAHp_g
This can be paired with blue, green or yellow clothes for either a Sub-Zero, Scorpion or Reptile from Mortal Kombat costume. You can also just wear black or red clothes with your mask to look like something out of your proverbial Facebook uncle’s worst nightmare. Just throw together whatever clothes and t-shirt you have. You can say you’re whatever kind of ninja you like. It may help everyone else around you, though if you have an identifiable t-shirt, like that of a band or movie to go with your ninja mask so you can be the Nirvana or Adidas bandit…. or something like that.